…Once reason to get married is the living will/asset situation. You should consult with a lawyer to make sure you can make decisions if one of you gets sick. Even if you both make the same amount of money, you want to make sure any assests you jointly own would go to the other in case of a death.

Good point Sherry, wills can do what civil marriage does. My fiance and I would prefer to have just a religious ceremony, promising our fidelity to each other, etc, rather than state sanctioned civil marriage with license. One of a few reasons is our grown children’s concern over assets of each. We want our children to feel comfortable that our “marriage” will not disinherit them.

Problem is, I can’t seem to find information about being married in any particular Christian church, where there would be no license, but where the religious ceremony of marriage would be registered in the church.

Any help would be appreciated bigtime.

Thanks, Max

“Marriage” is a civil contract between two people. It’s all about property and inheritance and is basically a business agreement. Why shouldn’t anyone who wants to enter a business agreement? Right now, in the US, NON civil servants, i.e. priests, rabbis, ministers, mullahs, ship captains can marry you and it will be legally binding within the state. It’s my opinion that this is WRONG. If you want to sanctify your union before your god - you should do that, but it shouldn’t have anything to do with your civil standing.

My husband and I were married after we had been living together for ten years. We owned property already. It was a legal thing - not a love thing. Our friends and family were well aware of our commitment - we had nothing to prove to anyone, least of all ourselves. It was a BUSINESS arrangement. I wanted to be next of kin. Legally.

It’s always made me a bit uncomfortable though because so many are not allowed this legal status. I comfort myself a little bit knowing that we chose to be married in Vermont (we eloped) and that we live in New Jersey, both states that now allow civil unions - which is just a very fancy word for marriage.

Thanks for letting me rant.

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Very nicely stated.

Thank you.

Carry.

Here’s hoping your needle biopsy goes well. And I hope you do find comfort you in knowing that statistics really are on your side. I’ve had two lump episodes , both of which turned out benign. The second was peculiarly amusing. The hospital (major teaching hospital in NYC) had just acquired a new (toy?) table with a hole for the boobs to hang through. They raised the table really high and worked under me! Great for big breasted people like me. I would have loved to have had a picture of that boob hanging through that table.

You brought tears to my eyes when you spoke about your feelings about not getting married unless everyone who loves someone else can do so. You have a big heart and generous spirit.

If I weren’t an atheist I’d be praying for you. Instead I’m wishing and wishing all the best.

Liza

Illegitimi non carborundum.

I hope your test results come out OK - enjoyed your podcast.

People act strange when they hear my husband and I have seperate checking accounts and credit cards still. I’ve just seen to many older married women with no credit and frozen bank accounts (or emptied from other relatives) after hubby dies or (heaven forbid) runs off.

Once reason to get married is the living will/asset situation. You should consult with a lawyer to make sure you can make decisions if one of you gets sick. Even if you both make the same amount of money, you want to make sure any assests you jointly own would go to the other in case of a death.

~katie

I agree with you on marriage. I am a Libertarian and I feel that marriage has always been of dubious design not only here in America but else where. I find it ironic that Nazi germany is constantly damned on the History Channel and in certain cirlces for making racial marriage laws when we had the same damn laws too, nevermind that whole incident about not allowing the Jews who immigrated out of germany into America. Oh and there is that whole thing about how we rounded up and exterminated “lesser” peoples too. I digress and I also do not see the point in getting married beyond kids, money dependants and religious neuroses.

Reminds me of when I phoned to tell my parents I was getting married. My father said something about my new last name. Huh? I’m not changing my name. His answer was, “Well, why get married, then?” “Uh, gee, Dad, good point. Okay. Well, I guess the wedding’s off!”

(We went ahead and got married, had a few good years, and lots of happy memories, before it self-destructed.)

Please don’t worry about your upcoming date with the big needle. My skepticism kicks in about so many tests: They really do have to protect themselves from malpractice suits. Lots of positive energy from me is floating over the snowy miles to you.

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Oh Shit!  Good questions.  I’ll get that fixed.  Thanks for letting me know.

Carry.