It’s done me a lot of good getting things off my chest online before. If you feel the need, it can sometimes be very helpful.

I’ve been dealing with severe depression for some months now. I’m not glad to hear about your troubles, but I am glad to know I’m not alone. I often feel like I’m the only one wandering through the dark, trying to find the light.

My two girls seem to be what keep me afloat day by day and as one will be graduating from high school this year, it leaves me wondering what will become of my life when they’re gone. I know I need to make some changes in my life but I’m at a loss as to where I want to go or do in the future….not to mention the fact that resources aren’t readily available.

Anyway, I’m still here….listening…and waiting patiently.

I miss you and hope all is well.

LizaKnitter
NYC

BTW, saw this & thought of you. http://laminatefloors.posterous.com/stone-rug-actually-made-of-felt-by-ronel-jord

There is really nothing wrong with being else where for a while. It is only when you aren’t there for most of the time that I think there is a problem.

Being in the moment can be a great when you’re spending time with people you love and enjoying them, but I love being relaxed enought that I can think about something else when I’m driving.

There are pockets of time behind the wheel where I’ve raced a kamikaze squirrel or two and enjoyed it. Then there are times when traffic is so ridiculously hectic that I’m doing good to make it where I’m going in one piece.

One of my pet peeves is being with a person whose cell phone takes priority over whatever conversation they’re having with me or someone else right in front of them.

I’m glad you’re feeling a little better; good hearing from you!

As for my health insurance, I get to pay weekly, and in 40 weeks time pay the entire year’s coverage because I drive a school bus and thus don’t work during the summer. The company I work for pays a VERY small portion based on hours worked. On average, I pay about 1/3 of my weekly gross for the privilege (?) of seeing my primary care doctor twice a year (co-pay of $20) and this year I had minor surgery to remove a fatty cyst (various co-pays adding up to over $200). And the company says they need to raise their rates again!

Surely the government couldn’t do a worse job then both are already doing. Unless the follow the unwritten rule, and I quote my Mom, “If there are 2 ways of doing a job, one with 3 steps and one with 10, pick the 10 step way, add 2 more steps for which a new training program must be created. This of course will take at least 18 months, by which time the whole thing is obsolete. At this point you may use the obsolete program OR go back to square one and start over.” Sound familiar?

On a more personal note, Carry, I enjoy listening to your podcasts. I have a great deal of empathy for the things you share with us and am very happy that I have found your show to listen to. Keep up the good work and know that there are many of us lurkers out here listening and enjoying what you do

But I do have one thing to say about your frustration with the insurance rep you spoke to. What she should have said is something along the lines of “It is under federal law (HIPAA) that I am not at liberty to disclose that information. You will need to speak with someone at your doctor’s office who can legally release the diagnosis to you.”

Even though I don’t blame her for not giving you the diagnosis since it law and all, I do think she could have handled the situation better…I can’t stand customer service people who glaze over and just repeat the same things over and over despite what you say to them.

He also gets promised chocolate. :)

The insurance company refused the refill, claiming that according to their records I had enough Warfarin until August 15 and furthermore, could not have a refill until August 7. I was directed to the “Pharmacy Care Division” and told by a clerk I wasn’t even eligible for a “vacation exemption”. The person denying the refill assured me she was “only following the rules”. When asked, she admitted she isn’t a medical professional.
Here are the details:
Prescription dispensed 7/23/09:
Label on prescription states: TAKE FIVE TABLETS ONCE A DAY OR AS DIRECTED
The protocol is that patients have blood drawn periodically and the doctor adjusts the Warfarin dose according to the INR levels in the blood. My dosages: 5 mg for the first six days; on July 29, the doctor’s increased the dosage to 6 mgs/day.
By August 8 l will have taken 5 mgs for 6 days and 6mgs for 11 days for a total of 96 1 mg pills. On Sunday, August 9, before I will have only 4 mgs left. (Note, it is dangerous to change Warfarin levels abruptly)

Even if my dosage had remained at 5 mg/day, there would have been only enough Warfarin to last through August 11 although the insurance company claimed I had enough for 5 mgs/day through August 15! I charted this all out this evening and am appalled that they are making decisions using really bad math.

Why are some people being made to fear that clerks in the “government” will be making decisions when we are already subject to this corporate (and don’t leave out – FOR PROFIT)
nightmare system, enforced medically untrained clerks.

And, my rant doesn’t even touch on the fact that my new employer-provided insurance now has $2,000 in network deductible, plus $5000 out-of-network. Did I mention that I work for a wealthy not-for-profit organization and this was the best they could do? In addition I pay about $15/week for this very poor coverage.

We need to organize a real, powerful march on Washington with demonstrations all over the country. I’m willing to help.

You on the other hand are a kind person and I think that if I’m wrong and there is a heaven you’ll be in it. If it’s true and there is a god I’m sure he’ll know what happened and will be there for you.

I don’t know what to say. I know that my heart goes out to you and that it’s so sad that in the name off religion so many great but also bad things happen.

My dad always says…” when knowing stops, believing starts” and I think it’s true.

Wishing I could hold you and give a hug and be of comfort and I agree 1000000 times on the things you said. Religion may not be an excuse in any case for doing what you do. I respect all beliefs but being an awfull person and thinking that you can wash it away?? No I don’t believe it.

Take care carry.

sending love and hugs
Valeria.

I’m sure you made his day and I would have a big laugh at it. We’re easy about it over here in the netherlands I guess. I hang my washings outside so everybody can see what kind off underwear we use and if it’s clean ;o) ah…well….at least we wear underwear don’t we??? ;o)

hugs.
valeria.

Thanks carry I needed that laugh as life sucks big time and I was also a bit (lot) anoyed with traffic and the people who drive cars like they own the road…..

Take care.
Hugs.
valeria.

It would be nice to dream of Patrick Stewart - but next time, it might be better to be the wife, not the mother. ;)

What really struck me, though, was how you mentioned being better at deep conversations with strangers and not so good with friends. I am the same way. I hadn’t ever thought of it in terms of what people think of me. That’s a perspective that throws new light on things. I’d always taken it for granted that my preference for acquaintances over friends was related to losing my grandmother at an early age. I was very close to her and wasn’t really allowed to deal with the loss. I know I have issues with that, but this new perspective makes more things fit in place.

Thanks for your stories! They’re always interesting, quite often thought provoking, and sometimes very enlightening :)

Darlene in PEI

Holly

you sound a bit sad and worried and that’s understandable. I do hope that everything will go to be better from now on and that you can attend the maryland woolfair.

Hugs to you and take care.
Valeria.

Have a great spring weekend and take care.

I’m sending warm thoughts to the turtle and to you.

my heart goes out to you and tears run over my face listening you to your plea to your friend to accept your appologies.

I do think you where there as a friend and I think that it was her choice to break the contact. If it’s on his behalf or hers, it’s still their responsibility not yours.

You didn’t hit her, that did her fiancee/husband. You didn’t break the contact and I think she made a choice to stop the contact as she knows that it would hurt too much to accept that she made some wrond decisions.

I feel your pain and I think that you did what you could. Sometimes you must let people go to forgive them and yourself for any mistakes if there were some because I don’t think you made any mistake.

You tried to contact her, you tried to make it right.

She made her choice in live and I think you’ve to accept it although I know it hurts.

If I were with you I would hold you and give you a big hug just as a comfort and that I understand your feelings and pain and hope that you’ll let it go now. Love is letting go, just as you told that you accepted eachothers freedom.

I think that if she would come to you, your door will be open to her as well as your heart. Let it stay that way and pray that she will be fine.

I’ll light a candle to you and sending the light and warmth from my candle from over here in the netherlands and hope that it will give you some kind off comfort and peace.

Take care.
Hugs xxx
Valeria.

“What do you think?”

I think “Ouch!”

I was in Bellingham, WA, in November, and fell on the street, landing my (not inconsiderable) weight squarely on my knee. I do feel your pain and I know that the absence of a dramatic bloody scrape doesn’t always tell the whole story!

Greetings from Germany,
Eva

2. to that end, start bringing/skipping lunch instead of eating out. Lunch prices have gotten ridiculous over the last year or so.

3. cut down on yarn purchasing/knit and crochet more stash

4. Take better care of my health doctor’s appointmentwise.

I’m pretty sure I can stick to these. I don’t like the way certain things have been affecting my bank account.

Let everyone celebrate as they wish — or not. There’s no one way to mark the end of December, something that these people obviously will not accept. And, it’s downright hegemonic imperialism on their part to try to impose their agendas on others who don’t share their ways.

I love your podcast and look forward to it. Sorry that you had such a Bah Humbuggish time of it. Hope the turn of year brings you joy.

Thank you for so generously sharing yourself with your listeners.

I think just the same as you and I’m sorry that you feel bad. Hope a comment from me will lift your spirit a bit up ;o)

Well, I thought of a lot listening to your podcast and while knitting on my sock I thought..ok so there’s a crisis going on and sometimes that hurts but it doesn’t hurt to return kindly the merry christmas wishes does it? Ok…people worry, I do to. Instead of having trouble with the crisis economical but mostly in my purse from the last year?? I’ve that lots of years now. My DH and I are strugling very hard to keep our heads above the drowning level but still we’ve a roof above our heads and the warmth comming from our central heating is still payed for. We’ve to eat and I can be inventive and make diner from scrap. We’ve clothes to wear and to wash and we can do that. I’ve internet and can share my thoughts and feelings with people from the other end of the world and hope to be of a bit of comfort or help to another.

Count the blessings is what I mean to say but not just as a sentence more as a way of living. It’s hard I know that but don’t give up fighting, I’ll never do that and if someone wishes me a good holiday season? I do that gladly in return because everything can be difficult at sometimes but we’ve lots to be thankfull for and try to keep that in mind too.

I also think it was needed for some people to be less shallow. It’s never about what you have, it’s more about what you can share isn’t it? The people who have less share more is my opinion and that’s often what I see happen around me.

So….people can’t go three times on holiday and go only once??? what the…. I’ve not been on holiday for more than 7 years. Well so what? I’m glad still and I can go to the see when I want to, it’s about ten minutes drive, I can go to the woods and walk with my dog and DH and child and be healthy. I can go to take my son swimming because of swimmingpools nearby. If I want a cool drink I can take it from my small fridge in the shed. I’ve a garden where I can sit and spin and card wool and dye and do everything my heart want to.

I can go to the thrift store without feeling ashamed and oh my…I’m ranting on and on I’m afraid??? Sorry carry if I do. I just want to tell everyone who cares to read my comment. Just be happy, feel free to vent and just go on. There are so many things to be glad about, try to see it and feel it.

Have a great day and big hug for anyone who wants one.

xxx
Valeria.

As a fresh autumnbreezedesigns.com user i only want to say hi to everyone else who uses this bbs <:-)

In my office we have a control freak as well. I feel for you. Since we’re a small group we get away with not including him in activities;)

oh my I can soooo relate to your ranting, I’ve said often that I change in the car. People are sometimes just stupid…too stupid to drive and I often yell…hey…did you save your driving license from coupons at the wall mart??? (ok over here in holland it’s the deka I call.) Oh my…sometimes I get so anoyed that it’s better that I stay at home.

One day I was cursing and yelling at someone and not calling great names…untill…..I noticed my window of the car was open and hers was too and she heard me. I drove on quickly and was glad she didn’t come out of her car and hit me in my face. Since then I tend to curse only with my windows closed and takes deep breathes to calm myself down.

I live in a town, many elderly people drive over here and if it has a hat on?? Oh my I keep my distance. It’s not save.

When I go to castricum to go to the thrift store there is a road on with you may drive 80 km an hour. It’s a road between beverwijk and castricum and in town you’re alowed to drive only 50 km. But…..oh my so many people just don’t pay attention and stay on driving 50 where you may go 80 that just pisses me off…sorry for my language. But it’s sooooo anoying. They just don’t pay attention and I think that they’re the people why some accidents happen.

Well a little ranting over here from me. I could go on and on but ehm…yeah….it’s not that good for my blood pressure ;o)

Hope you’ve a great weekend.
hugs.
Valeria.

I have a few left, but I have no idea where they are. I got kind of tired of making and looking at them. If I don’t get them done in 1-3 days, I lose interest. There is an octagonal one that I really love though. If I could find it, I would take a picture and post it up on ravelry (madonnaearth there too).

My current projects are not going very well, so I don’t discuss them much anymore. I am starting to lose my motivation for them too. I hope early next year I will get my crafting mojo back. The holiday season is kicking my butt, now that my Thanksgiving vacation is over.